I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize