i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
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maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
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