In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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