It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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