jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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