my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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