he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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