Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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