Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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