what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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