they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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