since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize