he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize