Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
