you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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