i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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