"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize