Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize