I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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