I want to make a zoo with you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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