STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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