did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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