she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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