I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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