Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize