Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  I hate ducks.

  (916): View more from California

  What?

  (916): View more from California

  they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

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  (916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm
  Replies (55) Good night (3267) Bad night (623)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating

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  (203): listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating http://tfl.nu/olru
  Replies (10) Good night (3562) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.

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  (972): I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that. http://tfl.nu/304s
  Replies (89) Good night (13755) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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  (301): My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW! http://tfl.nu/gdwn
  Replies (6) Good night (695) Bad night (5270) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more

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  (205): I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more http://tfl.nu/noxu
  Replies (39) Good night (1019) Bad night (5259) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.

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  (917): I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it. http://tfl.nu/n6vl
  Replies (8) Good night (4251) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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  (413): In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does. http://tfl.nu/f5ii
  Replies (48) Good night (7731) Bad night (1811)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.

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  (740): While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day. http://tfl.nu/7t04
  Replies (37) Good night (5876) Bad night (1544) Order T-Shirt
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?

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  (+45): You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right? http://tfl.nu/cwve
  Replies (9) Good night (3866) Bad night (1538) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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  (619): I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight. http://tfl.nu/r1ts
  Replies (4) Good night (2362) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.

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  (904): pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking. http://tfl.nu/eg7z
  Replies (3) Good night (2063) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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  (707): Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god http://tfl.nu/bbiq
  Replies (9) Good night (1456) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"

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  (306): And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing" http://tfl.nu/qhff
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.

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  (405): I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation. http://tfl.nu/hpn0
  Replies (2) Good night (1131) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?

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  (208): I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off? http://tfl.nu/5ghu
  Replies (3) Good night (1290) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt

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