hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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