I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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