Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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