Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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