Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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