she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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