so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
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Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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