either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
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I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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