just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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