i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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