i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
being pregnant is like rehab
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize