Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize