i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
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ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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