i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
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So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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