She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize