please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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