You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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