Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
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Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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