i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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