I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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