That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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