Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Someone shattered a urinal.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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