Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize