i wish my penis had a tongue
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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