Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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