if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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