"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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